Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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