He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
