woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
