Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
