You just made me feel so damn special
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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