So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
