after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
two words...techno handjob
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Use "feeling words"
Yay
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dick very happy bro
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
