I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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