yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
