It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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