Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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