were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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