Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
