you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
