I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
