the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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