i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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