Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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