1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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