So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize