just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
