Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
