Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize