Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
