Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
