Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
