Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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