I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
