whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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