420 ftw
only if we run a train.
done.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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