The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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