bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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