We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
