Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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