i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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