I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize