You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
