I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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