I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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