dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
