Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
