You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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