It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I FOUND THE LEGS
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
