just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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