i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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