: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
