I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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