sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
