Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
