I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
