you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
