A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
