so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
