I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
