I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
