I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
