smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
well I can't set my house on fire every night
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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