butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
