My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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