Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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