At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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