I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
