i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I didn't notice because vodka
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
